It's 5:50 PM and I'm walking to the light rail station and I'm holding 2 heavy bags and a cup of salad dressing, because I didn't have any other containers. I tell myself to be grateful. I know I should be grateful.
But I'm tired. And my eyes are achy and red from computers, tiny print, and shuffling paper. I fumble through my purse for my pass. Can't find it. I put down one heavy bag and the cup of salad dressing and look for my pass. Hubband took it yesterday and was supposed to put it back in my purse. He didn't put it back in my purse.
I can see the train and all I have is a $20 and I start to cry. I'm so tired and I cry more because I'm actually crying over this. And that's silly. I'm being silly and I should be grateful.
I buy a ticket and collect my $18.75 in coins because the machine only dispenses coins.
I get on the train and find a seat next to a man. I should be grateful for my seat and my ride home. I know I should.
Three people are loudly talking on cell phones and the train is buzzing in my ears which is connected to a pounding head which is connected to silly watery eyes which lead to a heart that should be grateful.
Nobody checks my ticket, because nobody checks tickets on the day that you forget your pass and all you have is a $20 for the machine that only gives out coins.
And I'm grateful, I promise I'm so grateful for that $20 and for my seat and for my ride home.
Sometimes you're just worn out too.